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Down to one teenager
A little over a week ago, we lost one of our teenagers to the 20s. :DÂ Game Fanatic finished his second decade and bid goodbye to his teen years. Actually he paid no attention whatsoever, but we parents did have a few sentimental moments about it. This was a particularly good birthday for him or at least he seemed pretty content with his day, right up to the end. We invited some friends over, along with the usual family to share the day. It went pretty well overall and everyone seemed to get along pretty well. Everyone came early enough that there was time for him to play games in the evening and to have a take out meal from our local curry place and still have a bit of time at the end of the day.
I attribute some of the improvement to the medication that he’s taking right now. We’ve been going through lots of different tablets to get to this point and still have a way to go. But at least there are a couple medications that seem to make a bit of positive difference. To me, it is a big difference for him to be more relaxed with visitors so that he can enjoy himself on special days.
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Transformers: Age of Extinction 3D
As a family, we went to see this movie this afternoon. I normally wouldn’t be too bothered to see this in the cinema but this was Lego Lover’s big movie and he really wanted us to all go together. Funnily enough, he never did see the previous installment of the series in the cinema and this time we see it on opening day. That almost didn’t happen as it should due to a curious ad at the Supanova convention last weekend. On entrance we were issued with wristbands of different colors, depending on which sort of ticket we purchased. On the wristband was essentially an ad for this movie and the date of June 27th. Hmm…it all seemed a bit odd to both the Scientist and me, because new release movies generally start on a Thursday here. If there is a change, it’s almost always earlier in the week rather than later. I jokingly commented that perhaps the wristbands were imported from the US. Either I was correct or the convention got wristbands that were meant for use in a different region.
Anyway, Lego Lover has been eagerly awaiting this movie for months. And if not for the release of The Lego Movie a few months ago, it would be his only cinema experience for the year. Until today, we could count his cinema outings on one hand. Today makes six in his fifteen and a half years. Half of those movies have been Transformer movies. All but one of those movies have been with the whole family. Game Fanatic didn’t want to see Toy Story 3 with us so stayed home a few years ago. I would have been perfectly happy to wait for the dvd of this movie to come out, but Lego Lover really wanted us all to go together so that’s what we did. We arrived well in advance of the starting time, partly so we could get discount tickets and partly to make sure we got seats at the time we wanted I needn’t have been concerned about missing out on tickets as the cinema was mostly empty. Perhaps this was due to it being a mid-afternoon showing, before school let out. Â I’m not sure if we were in the same cinema as for the Lego Movie or not. But we had the same experience at the beginning when the ads and previews started to run but no picture. Last time the audience (very small) sat through the whole set of ads and finally I went out to the front to advise of this. Today, the Scientist went up, quite a bit sooner. This seems unlikely to be a coincidence considering the previous time was in April which leaves me wondering what is being neglected at the cinema. I don’t have a problem missing the ads but I imagine the advertisers would.
We got special 3D glasses for the movie instead of just using ones we had from previous movies. The only special part was the small accents on the side of the ear pieces. I guess they might be collector’s items…although more valuable if they hadn’t been used already. :) I had forgotten how very long these movies are so it seemed like it went on for longer than the previous ones. Apparently I have easily forgotten how long the action packed movies are. Plenty of bang for our bucks, to be honest. That’s not to say I didn’t like it. It’s not really the type of movie I go in for, but it did have plenty of entertaining parts. And for those that were less so, it was always interesting to pick out some of the movie cliches typical for an action film. There was even a really cute nod to an interest of Game Fanatic’s included that we all really liked.
Lego Lover, really loved it and was talking non-stop about it with his brother on the way to the car, then to all of us at home, then later on when I took him back out to buy Transformer toys in the toy sale that just started today. It makes me happy that he loved it so much and also happy that he wanted to share it with his whole family. The funny thing is we were talking just today about his extremes of very happy and very unhappy as a younger child. He was never much in the middle until he got older and matured. But today his joy reminded me of his younger days…just pure bliss. And now, of course, he has two new toys in the series and is so pleased with them too.
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Parenting, food, concert, parenting
Yesterday was a pretty spectacular day. Neil Finn concert, after all!
The early part of the day was fairly ordinary. Got up and had breakfast…rather late but still it was breakfast, particularly as it was my usual bowl of rolled oats with cocoa, brown sugar and milk added. Finished some solitaire daily challenge puzzles on the Microsoft app. Exercise was not quite a usual. Started out using our Wii Fit for half an hour and moved on to an app on my iPad. It was tough but it went well enough. It’s nice having more options than when I was going to the gym regularly.
It was well into afternoon and we still hadn’t seen signs of Lego Lover stirring. I realise this is part of the teenage years but I do feel he takes this rather to extremes. Showered and dressed to go out. Wore a skirt but had no decent shoes to wear with it so stuck with cross trainers. Was reminded by the Scientist it might be good to remedy this situation. Too late on this occasion. Nearly time to go and finally we see signs of the Lego Lover being awake. Time to leave.
Arrive in Perth and park. Realise parking on streets is still free on Sundays. No $11 fee for parking in the parking lot next to the Perth Concert Hall. :) I purposely skipped lunch with expectations of a meal in the city. We walked up Barrack Street and considered a Korean place we’d eaten at before seeing Leonard Cohen a couple years ago. Decided to look further afield. Down through Murray Street and onto William Street where we found ourselves at Jamie’s Kitchen. We haven’t been back since our anniversary last May. I thought it might be rather busy but it the queue wasn’t that long. Lucky us, getting the last free table! It was tempting to go for the same meal as last time but chose a ravioli dish in the entree portion. Meanwhile. bread selection with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Cheap starter that doesn’t fail to satisfy. I could eat a meal of it alone and I’m not really that much the bread lover. My entree arrived and the Scientist’s seafood plank was landed onto the tomato cans placed on the table. Entree was rather small this time and wasn’t quite enough but was totally delicious. I savoured each bite, especially considering there weren’t so many. That’s okay, leaves room for dessert. :D The pannacotta special which I adored  last time was now on the menu but I opted to try the epic brownie this time while the Scientist went for the trifle. Desserts arrived and totally met expectations and more. A most satisfying second visit to Jamie’s Kitchen and looking forward to trying more the next time. I might add the Scientist had attempted to book a table beforehand but they weren’t accepted at that time of day. Left to it, I found my way there anyway. :D If it had been too busy, though, I would have been happy trying sushi next door or another local eatery.
It was now late enough to pick up our tickets but too early for much else. We walked back to the concert hall and collected our tickets and learned our cameras were not welcome this time. Not too unexpected since this was an indoor show but rather disappointing when we had front row and center seats. Ah well, less time looking at the camera and more watching the stage. We walked across the esplanade to the Swan River for a little while then returned my camera to the car. I’d had ideas of staying outside but the weather had cooled considerably and the warmer lobby of the concert hall became our temporary hangout. It was interesting to see the cafe there with food served in one end of the lobby and tables in a side room for dining. They also had smaller treats like Maltesers at a premium cost. More interesting were the small tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the fridge. After the super sweetness of my brownie, that wasn’t going to happen. But still interesting to see. The merchandise table was being set up. Not a lot on offer for Neil Finn but a few items that looked decent for support act, Joshua James. Eventually sales began and I chose a tea towel to add to my collection. It’s not as nice as previous ones but it will do. Overprices water bottles purchased and I was surprised at the flimsiness of the plastic. It felt as though it would crumple in my hands despite being full but I suppose it’s a good thing to use less plastic.
Finally the doors open and we show our tickets. Front row seats, here we come! For quite a while we were alone in the front row but most seats except two to the left of the Scientist were filled shortly after the support act began. Joshua James was pretty good…played some good music but a bit limited on the chatter. Interval time. The four people to my right who arrived shortly after the show started were gone already, for drinks, I presume. A few minutes to go and seats were filled except those two at the Scientist’s left. Finally the pair arrived. I recognised the woman from other shows.
The show itself was like a dream. Sitting right there in front of stage I felt I could reach out and touch but obviously resisted the urge. Neil played seven songs from his new album. They sounded really good live. The one song I was hoping to hear was White Lies and Alibis and my wish came true. Perth was the first show to hear Animal vs. Human and it was good. The live factor almost always is a bonus with Neil’s songs. But there was more. Songs from the Split Enz days  like One Step Ahead and Message to My Girl.  Songs from the Crowded House days like Don’t Dream it’s Over on just piano with backing vocals. What a fine performance that was. He went from strength to strength and no weakness on this night or maybe this tour by accounts I’ve heard. Only Talking Sense from the Finn album with his brother Tim was sensational. Solo Finn songs like Sinner and She Will Have Her Way. Two encores and a splendid finish with solo Neil on Love this Life and then  Better Be Home Soon, which meant it was truly over.
Obviously we must be too considerate and polite because the three setlists taped to the stages were quickly extracted by other fans before we had thought of it. Usually we get these at request but we were just that close we could reach for them. Sigh. That’s okay because I have my treasured setlist from his show with Paul Kelly last year, thanks to the Scientist. Crowds left the auditorium taking us with them. We lingered behind a bit and the idea of hanging outside the stage door occurred but we didn’t go there. Maybe a shame as there aren’t many opportunities to hang out there now.
Time to go home.
Arrived home just before midnight. Lego Lover is up. Game Fanatic is up. It’s late so the Scientist is soon off to bed as today is no holiday. Game Fanatic goes to bed and it’s just younger son and me left. It’s a frustrating parenting moment because Lego Lover has now restarted his continuous talk on his favorite subject of the moment. It’s a topic revisited constantly in our house and there’s not much to add. I’m not terribly interested right now as I am still wanting to enjoy the moment. Because he doesn’t understand body language well at all, I tell him bluntly I don’t want to hear about it now. I am still feeling rather annoyed that he barely was up by the time we’d left earlier in the day. At the moment I just want to keep the night alive with the lovely buzz I was feeling. Instead, he paused briefly and carried on. This is how it is with my child with high functioning autism. He doesn’t get what I want and his need is foremost. I abandon my buzz for a bit and hear him out. Eventually he does go away and I feel guilty because this happens often enough with him. My attempts to curb him don’t really work so it is what it is. I love him anyway and decide that even though it’s not my thing he’s talking about, it is his thing and he feels such love and joy of it that I can’t help but be endeared to him. As it is, some of his older habits have fallen along the wayside and I miss them sometimes. I hate to think of the time I will miss these moments, difficult as they sometimes be.
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Challenging the anxiety
Game Fanatic has been fairly desperate to find ways to make some new friends for a while now. He has had some issues in the past that I think he’s finally willing to overcome, or at least compromise on. But the finding of the friends has been a difficult part since he’s not engaged regularly in work or schooling right now. In fact, he’s been mostly isolated in the past few years and only recently has been engaged in any sort of social interaction via old friends from the homeschooling community, mine and his. This hasn’t been particularly regular but it’s been something and he’s found he has improved on subsequent visits. His recent attendance at the Supernova convention was meant to help find avenues for friendship but it was simply too crowded to accomplish much of anything aside from going around to the different stalls and looking at the cosplay creativity of other convention goers.
What he did do was pick up a flyer for a local Japanese anime fan group that interested him. Even though he’s had the flyer a few weeks, he didn’t gather up courage to go until this weekend. The group has screenings of anime series and movies on all but the first Saturday night of the month. On the last Saturday it seems they have a social gathering in the afternoon before the screenings. The viewing sessions do come at a cost but the social group is free. Game Fanatic asked to go early in the afternoon so we headed out about the time they were due to start and arrived half an hour later. We found a mostly empty space with a couple people hanging around. It seems this weekend wasn’t a good one for joining in the first time due to another event nearby and the fact it’s winter here. I talked to a couple of the guys there and it was suggested that we come back a little later and see if there is more of a crowd.
We went away and came back an hour later. We were optimistic to find the parking lot nearly full but it seems those were people attending other events in the center as only a couple others had joined the group we were there to see. This included an older woman with a sewing machine, which seemed rather odd to me. I will point out that GF was in quite a panic from the start and was silent through the brief chats I had with most of the others that we came across there. I finally got him to sit down with me at one of the tables set up for the afternoon and he was shaking from nerves. Fortunately he calmed down after we’d been there for a little while. I chatted a bit with the sewing machine woman, who was having some trouble with the machine. She went away after a while to take that machine home and retrieve another one, I think. The few others came and went but mostly left us alone. They weren’t unfriendly but they weren’t terribly inviting either. I suspect this crowd, being rather geeky, doesn’t have a notion of helping other join in. So we were just sitting there most of the time. I had a couple of things in my purse to occupy myself but GF just sat there the entire time. I talked to him a bit and kept asking him if he wanted to stay or go. It was still quite a while until the evening activities would be set up and I was bored and I suspect he was too (aside from nerves). Â Eventually I made the decision that we would leave so I said our goodbyes and said we would come back some other time. Then we came home.
I will credit Game Fanatic highly for being so determined to stick it out. If I’d felt there would be any positive outcome I’d have stayed much longer but it seemed to me a fruitless venture on this particular day. I made sure he understands that we won’t give up and we will keep trying until it works. Not only do we have to have the right environment but GF also needs to be able to engage in the situation to some degree. I suspect that will take a few attempts just on its own so I hope his determination continues.
We found another possible social avenue when I discovered a new games shop has opened somewhat locally. It’s not close to home but it’s in the area so we take what we can get. At least it’s not in the city proper like the one other games shop here. Anyway, this new place has regularly scheduled events most days of the week. Thursday night is devoted to board games and they have several available to play but the option to bring your own too. We drove down on Thursday afternoon to have a look at the place and it seems nice enough as a venue for games. Their selection of games for sale isn’t very big right now but they have only been open a few months. There were only a few people in the stores, mostly older guys playing some card game…perhaps Magic the Gathering or something of that ilk. Since today’s adventure didn’t come out very well I am encouraging Game Fanatic to try out the games night. We may well have to go two or three times before he is comfortable there but it doesn’t hurt to keep trying and this is the sort of activity where he’s most likely to find like-minded people.
We ended up buying a couple of games while at his shop even though they cost more than we’d pay at our online supplier. If the service and community work out to be good here, it will be worth the investment, I think.
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Proud
Game Fanatic made his parents pretty proud this weekend when he attended the Supernova Pop culture show. Over the past few years, he’s been fairly isolated and had limited friendships due to his various anxiety, ocd and asd sort of issues. I added in the asd even though his diagnosis of autism is not official just yet. It’s just that it’s now his traits are so much more obvious than in the past so it seems worthy of inclusion. Going out in public to crowded places has always been a struggle for GF so when he announced his interest in attending Supernova months ago, we didn’t really think it would end up happening. Closer to time, there were questions about going along with other people we know but that didn’t work out for various reasons. He still wanted to go so the Scientist accompanied him to the show last Sunday. Apparently it was really crowded with many rude show-goers pushing their way around the venue. The Scientist told me later that GF started following him around until he said that GF need to take the lead and the Scientist would follow him. This wouldn’t necessarily work every time but it did on this occasion. Game Fanatic did go around to the things that interested him, including a panel by Mad Men, a company that distributes most of the anime titles here in Australia. He took charge of what he wanted to do and just got on with it. I have long known that when Game Fanatic sets his mind to something, he can overcome many of the obstacles and this is a prime example. The main objective in going to this show was so that GF could socialise but that didn’t really happen as it was just too crowded there. But GF did pick up information on a local anime group that meets so perhaps this will be a means develop more of a social circle for him. I hope he takes the same determination into the next social challenge he meets. Well done, Game Fanatic!
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Random stuff
I’m due to donate blood again tomorrow with a full blood donation. It actually seems a long time now since my plasma donation in February, which seems to be a good thing, I think. Maybe I will increase my plasma donations since I am feeling okay about it. I did manage to get through gym workouts yesterday (just) and today (comfortably) so I will be taking tomorrow off while I give blood. I’ve also decided to do cardio workouts only for a few days to give my body a bit more time to recover from all the new workouts I’ve been trying.
My tai chi class finished for this term this evening and I will be on to level six next term. As I was telling the Scientist, it feels really great to feel up to speed on the moves at the end of term for a change. Usually it takes until well into the following term before I start to get a real handle on new moves. Next term will be mostly moves I know but will be done on the opposite side. I imagine this will be a big challenge for me, particularly because there are a lot more moves to work on each week this time. But there are a few new moves to look forward to and at the end of next term I’ll be done with level six…which means I will know all the moves in the tai chi set (108 ). I went to re-enroll for next term online and my usual location says it’s sold out of spaces. I find this rather difficult to believe as there aren’t that many people attending regularly right now so surely there is still space. I also wanted to do a workshop focusing on level four and that wasn’t available at all in my choices. I sent an email to the owner and she has already replied saying she was going to rectify the problems and to try again tomorrow.
There are appointments to take Game Fanatic to this week on two afternoons. We see his clinical psychologist on Wednesday and it’s on to the psychiatrist he saw last month to continue the assessment for autism. I was a bit perplexed last time we saw the clinical psych as he seemed concerned about fitting GF into the current criteria for autism due to the fact he had no language delays. The language criteria in place currently does not require a delay but does require one or two other criteria to be met. Lego Lover was diagnosed without a language delay so I don’t see the issue. Apparently the new criteria, which goes into effect with the new DSM V next month, isn’t a problem for diagnosis…Since it’s likely to take that long to reach the conclusion of this process, I suppose it doesn’t matter in the long run.
We seem to be in a bit of an autumn heatwave right now. Today the temperature unexpectedly reached 37.6 locally which is somewhere close to the 100F. Apparently the heat will continue through the week. Just when we thought the new air conditioner will start being run less regularly, we are getting a full test of it’s ability to cool the house in summer conditions. Not to mention higher electricity bills…
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Diagnosis
A friend of mine’s teen-aged son was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism and has found it an overwhelming experience so far. It brought to mind our own experiences when Lego Lover was diagnosed almost nine years ago. We remember having such mixed emotions then. After all, someone finally saw what we could see and we weren’t barking mad. We had validation of our concerns and that was such a relief. It was also quite a shock to get this result and left us reeling for a little while afterwards. On top of that, there was a long list of things we had to now do to get help from anyone and everyone we could. And we only had a short time to do it as most of the support and services for autism are aimed at preschoolers. Once a child starts school, much of that support disappears and does not return until post-secondary school. Then there’s trying to explain to friends and family…sometimes victoriously, that we were right all along. :)
My friend is already getting lots of feedback from others about the evils of vaccination and the  “cures” for autism and other sorts of stuff that’s she really doesn’t need right now. Hopefully this rush of feedback will soon fall off and she and her son and family can just move on to figuring out what the future holds for them and getting on with life.
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History repeats
It’s hard for me to believe it but it’s now been eight or nine years since Lego Lover was officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I suppose it is not so incredible when I consider he was only five at the time…But it doesn’t always seem so long ago. And yet it was the better part of his lifetime ago. I remember it was a reader of this blog who drew my attention to a condition called Asperger’s syndrome by forwarding a link to a news article. I’d never heard of it before although I was slightly aware of  (classic) autism. After reading the article I was half convinced Lego Lover had Asperger’s and half convinced that he didn’t. Recently I was reminded of something else that came to mind while reading the article. I remember thinking that half the traits seemed to fit Lego Lover and the other half seemed to fit Game Fanatic. If you put those two halves together you’d have a perfect Aspie. I didn’t give that too much more thought at the time, aside from it motivating me to eventually seek assessment for Lego Lover due to the difficulties that arose from some of his issues.
Strangely I hadn’t recalled that thought for many years but it came to mind recently while discussing Game Fanatic with the clinical psychologist who has worked with us for several years. Game Fanatic has long had a variety of issues like anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder causing considerable impact on his life. Every so often red flags would go up that put me in mind of Asperger’s syndrome but then I would think about the overall picture and it just didn’t fit. It’s been an occasional topic of discussion with the psychologist over the past few years but it never went much further than that. That’s all changed recently as we revisited this topic and it seems that perhaps Game Fanatic may very well have Asperger’s. We spent our last two sessions discussing this more in-depth and there’s enough evidence from our talks to now to support the possibility. We are currently looking for a psychiatrist who has experience with autism and Asperger’s syndrome in older teens and adults to seek further advice and assessment.
It’s strange to be on this path again after so many years. It is familiar and yet it will be different because we are looking at this issue for an adult rather than a child. It’s also strange to think this hasn’t been obvious for all these years when I’d had such a thought so long ago. I think the reason for this is that Lego Lover has always been quite expressive of thoughts and feelings so we always knew a lot about how his mind works. On the other hand Game Fanatic has always kept most of his thoughts and feelings to himself. It’s only been in the last few years that he has shared enough of himself to allow us to understand him better. With this “new” information it’s easier to see how he might well fit into the Asperger’s category. Assuming that a diagnosis does happen, I wonder if I will feel the same relief and finding an explanation as I did all those years ago with Lego Lover.
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A few odds and ends
My temporary job finished a few weeks ago and a Kenyan-born Indian woman invited everyone to lunch at her house. She cooked a lovely vegetarian meal with a dry potato curry, a mixed dahl soup, rice, chapatis, papadums, raita, and a carrot halva for dessert. It had some beautiful spices that just burst forth as you continue to eat. It was all quite delicious although it was a bit heavy on the carbohydrate with the rice, potatoes and breads. It was a pretty healthy meal but the dessert was rather rich and filled with butter.
I got home late in the afternoon feeling a bit sleepy so decided I should do at least a bit of exercise. All was going pretty well until the last part of my personal training routine when I had to do an exercise where I lifted my knees repeatedly. Towards the end of that I think my left kneecap popped off track, causing some pain and discomfort. I took a short break and managed to complete the last couple of minutes of the program although it I had to modify one of the exercises a bit to complete it. At the time I thought it was just a bit sore but hours later I notice that knee is quite swollen and this after taking anti-inflammatory painkillers. Hopefully the swelling will go down tomorrow but I will probably need to switch to some other exercise for a few days as most of the exercise program includes lots of knee movement.
Last week Lego Lover and I went to see a doctor with regard to taking part in a medication trial on low-dose Prozac to treat certain autistic behaviors. I met this doctor many years ago when I took Game Fanatic to see him about anxiety issues. He still remembered us after all these years even though we only met him once or twice. He thought our boys had some interesting neurochemistry going on. We have to go through three pre-trial interviews and assessments before it starts so we are still in the early stages and don’t know for certain if Lego Lover will be eligible.
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After almost a year…
we have a lost tooth! Lego Lover had an upper lateral incisor that the dentist reported was loose when we saw her last May. It finally came out today, after months of misery. There’s not a permanent tooth coming in, which is at least a partial explanation for the long term wiggly tooth. There are still a couple of his canines yet to be lost so there is more wiggly tooth fun to come.
Both boys saw the pediatric dentist last week and had good reports on their teeth. I had visions of the dentist deciding the tooth had to come out at the appointment, but I am pleased to report the idea was never mentioned. The dentist is the first and longest serving pediatric dentist in Perth and has a very good reputation for working with kids with special needs like Asperger’s and autism. As Lego Lover also has a very crowded mouth, we have been referred to an orthodontist for a consultation as to future treatment. It has been suggested that Lego Lover is not a good candidate for orthodontics so it’s possible we may be looking at a couple tooth extractions under general anaesthetic to reduce or eliminate the need for it. It will be interesting to hear the orthodontist’s opinion before decisions are made.