Challenging the anxiety
Game Fanatic has been fairly desperate to find ways to make some new friends for a while now. He has had some issues in the past that I think he’s finally willing to overcome, or at least compromise on. But the finding of the friends has been a difficult part since he’s not engaged regularly in work or schooling right now. In fact, he’s been mostly isolated in the past few years and only recently has been engaged in any sort of social interaction via old friends from the homeschooling community, mine and his. This hasn’t been particularly regular but it’s been something and he’s found he has improved on subsequent visits. His recent attendance at the Supernova convention was meant to help find avenues for friendship but it was simply too crowded to accomplish much of anything aside from going around to the different stalls and looking at the cosplay creativity of other convention goers.
What he did do was pick up a flyer for a local Japanese anime fan group that interested him. Even though he’s had the flyer a few weeks, he didn’t gather up courage to go until this weekend. The group has screenings of anime series and movies on all but the first Saturday night of the month. On the last Saturday it seems they have a social gathering in the afternoon before the screenings. The viewing sessions do come at a cost but the social group is free. Game Fanatic asked to go early in the afternoon so we headed out about the time they were due to start and arrived half an hour later. We found a mostly empty space with a couple people hanging around. It seems this weekend wasn’t a good one for joining in the first time due to another event nearby and the fact it’s winter here. I talked to a couple of the guys there and it was suggested that we come back a little later and see if there is more of a crowd.
We went away and came back an hour later. We were optimistic to find the parking lot nearly full but it seems those were people attending other events in the center as only a couple others had joined the group we were there to see. This included an older woman with a sewing machine, which seemed rather odd to me. I will point out that GF was in quite a panic from the start and was silent through the brief chats I had with most of the others that we came across there. I finally got him to sit down with me at one of the tables set up for the afternoon and he was shaking from nerves. Fortunately he calmed down after we’d been there for a little while. I chatted a bit with the sewing machine woman, who was having some trouble with the machine. She went away after a while to take that machine home and retrieve another one, I think. The few others came and went but mostly left us alone. They weren’t unfriendly but they weren’t terribly inviting either. I suspect this crowd, being rather geeky, doesn’t have a notion of helping other join in. So we were just sitting there most of the time. I had a couple of things in my purse to occupy myself but GF just sat there the entire time. I talked to him a bit and kept asking him if he wanted to stay or go. It was still quite a while until the evening activities would be set up and I was bored and I suspect he was too (aside from nerves). Â Eventually I made the decision that we would leave so I said our goodbyes and said we would come back some other time. Then we came home.
I will credit Game Fanatic highly for being so determined to stick it out. If I’d felt there would be any positive outcome I’d have stayed much longer but it seemed to me a fruitless venture on this particular day. I made sure he understands that we won’t give up and we will keep trying until it works. Not only do we have to have the right environment but GF also needs to be able to engage in the situation to some degree. I suspect that will take a few attempts just on its own so I hope his determination continues.
We found another possible social avenue when I discovered a new games shop has opened somewhat locally. It’s not close to home but it’s in the area so we take what we can get. At least it’s not in the city proper like the one other games shop here. Anyway, this new place has regularly scheduled events most days of the week. Thursday night is devoted to board games and they have several available to play but the option to bring your own too. We drove down on Thursday afternoon to have a look at the place and it seems nice enough as a venue for games. Their selection of games for sale isn’t very big right now but they have only been open a few months. There were only a few people in the stores, mostly older guys playing some card game…perhaps Magic the Gathering or something of that ilk. Since today’s adventure didn’t come out very well I am encouraging Game Fanatic to try out the games night. We may well have to go two or three times before he is comfortable there but it doesn’t hurt to keep trying and this is the sort of activity where he’s most likely to find like-minded people.
We ended up buying a couple of games while at his shop even though they cost more than we’d pay at our online supplier. If the service and community work out to be good here, it will be worth the investment, I think.
