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Memory flashes
I’ll be in the middle of something, either thought or action, and suddenly will have a very quick flashback of memory to a time or place that lasts all of a couple of seconds. Today I was playing an online game and suddenly remembered the basement at my grandparents’ house. My grandfather died 25 years ago and my grandmother hasn’t lived there for several years. I haven’t been there in over fifteen years and probably didn’t even see the basement. I never really spent all that much time there in the years I was growing up either since we visited once or twice a year. So I wonder how such a seemingly trivial memory of a place was suddenly triggered.
That’s just one of a great many flashbacks I’ve had over the past few weeks. I don’t think it’s a new phenomenon but it must be happening more often than in the past. Is it something that happens more as you grow older? Or is it just me? I guess now I have a real understanding of the term flashback.
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Revelations
Two or three weeks ago, Lego Lover lost one of his lower canine teeth. The other lower one was loose and last Tuesday he realised it was soon to be out. We were out in the car while his brother was at Dungeons and Dragons and he was wiggling it with his tongue until it was just hanging there. He was much braver about moving this tooth compared to the last one. It finally did come out and he was quite relieved that it didn’t bleed much at all, which did happen last time. Not that it bled much but to him it was too much. So I commented to him that he would be getting a visit from the tooth fairy that night, which made him happy.
Lego Lover has for quite some time been quite sure there was no tooth fairy. He’s discussed it with me many times and was certain that it was impossible for there to really be a tooth fairy. And he had also come to the conclusion there was no Easter bunny. But he was on and on about Santa Claus and what he would bring for him at Christmas each year. i kept finding it odd how he didn’t believe in tooth fairies and Easter bunnies, but Santa was as real as they come. Tuesday, we again had this conversation about the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. He was adamant that there are no real fairies. The Easter bunnyis a bit more plausible but it is really just the parents pretending. This time, we talked more about the impossibility of these myths and somehow got onto the topic of Santa Claus. Initially he said that he partially believes in Santa. But as we talked on, he admitted that he doesn’t believe in Santa but he does believe in the idea of him. He said he hasn’t believed in Santa since 2006. He also admitted that he hadn’t said anything before now because he was worried he’d not get so many presents.
Both of the boys held on to the Santa story until far later than I remember kids doing when I was growing up. I don’t think either wanted to let go of the idea of Santa, whether they truly believed or not. Although it’s mostly a relief to have this out in the open, I feel a bit sentimental about that era of his childhood being over. It takes me back to when I found out the truth about Santa. I was quite a bit younger and some friends revealed the truth to me. For me it was quite a shock and I remember not believing them at first. I’m not sure what made me realise they were right. I’m not sure but I don’t think there were any nasty shocks for either of the boys. I suspect when Lego Lover worked out the truth, he was probably quite pleased with himself for being so clever.
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Fading memories, old friendships
My father sent an email with photos he’d taken while visiting his hometown recently. Most were photos of family members but he also took a couple photos of the apartment where my parents lived when they were first married. This was effectively my first home, if I’m not mistaken. I’ve seen black and white photos from the time we lived there in the past. I’m pretty sure my parents have shown us the house when visiting family too. But it was kind of interesting to see it’s still standing and looking pretty decent after all these years. At least it looks okay from the outside.
I was just a toddler when we last lived there so obviously have no memories of the place. But I have reminisced about other places I’ve lived over the years and it seems so many of the memories are fading. And it’s not just places either. I was flipping through my high school yearbooks the other day. I recognised only a few faces in the sea of senior photos. The names triggered better recollections. Those I remember most would have been in my home room. I can’t say I knew them personally all that well , having been one of the quiet, shy students hidden at the back of the class. But at the time, they were extremely familiar to me and it seemed I would remember them forever. I was wrong, of course!Â
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Moon walk
It dawned on me a few weeks ago that the fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission and the moon walk was coming up. I hadn’t really heard anything in the media mentioning it at the time so I’m not quite sure what triggered the thought. At the time my main thought was, “Wow!”
In the weeks since, I’ve thought about it more and noticed the media was drawing attention to it. On the 16th I was watching and reading about the launch of that mission. It became quite clear that while this was a momentous world event, it was also something of a milestone in my life. I was only four in 1969 and it’s quite possible this is my earliest memory now. I would be lying if I said I remember it clearly but I do remember the night. Our family, like many around the world, was in front of the television that night. We watched events as they took place on tv and we also went out into our backyard to look at the moon.
I think that is what stands out for me that night…looking at the moon and realising that there were humans from earth walking there. I do have a strong memory of the sense of wonder on that night. This was really the first major event of my life. Sure, there were plenty of major world events occurring in the late sixties. But this was the first that my four year old self was able to grasp in any way. Even to my 44 year old self, it’s pretty astounding.
My thoughts have wandered over the past few days to the continuing sense of wonder about the space program through my early years. At school, we would learn about NASA and its space program pretty much yearly right through my primary school years. I used to know quite a bit of detail about those early American spaceships. In the reading book I had one year was a speculative sort of story or article about a base on the moon. I think there were predictions of having some sort of settlement there by the turn of the century. There was a sort of romaticism about it for those of us growing up at the time. In our family, it was my younger brother who was especially enamored of all things related to space.
Obviously NASA’s space program didn’t continue in that direction and before we knew it, space shuttles were the choice craft for space flight. I probably remember far more detail of the launch of the first space shuttle but I can’t say it captivated me in the same way. Any time an Apollo mission was launched, the nation and the world watched. But aside from the first few space shuttle missions (and those that have gone horribly wrong), they are so commonplace today as to garner only brief mention, if any, in the news these days.
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Previous acquaintance
Last month I was at the local library, with the Scientist, when I happened to see the mother of one of Game Fanatic’s former classmates there collecting books on reserve. I couldn’t remember this woman’s name and did not approach her. But we ended up next to her at the self-checkout machines and I noticed that one of the books she was checking out was about using art as a therapy for children with Asperger’s and a few other conditions. Her family moved to another part of our suburb and her daughter changed schools many years ago. I think I may have met her once in all the years since, probably at the grocery store. The daughter was in my son’s class for pre-primary (kindergarten) and grade one and she was a good kid but she definitely wasn’t an average kid and was very quirky. I wouldn’t have known anything about Asperger’s then, but I suspect that maybe she is on the spectrum. It might make some sense of the quirky little girl I once knew. Of course, I only making some assumptions based on what little I recall of them and the fact of that book. It also highlights how little I recall of people and events from eight, nine or ten years ago.
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Talk about pain
I remember this night ten years ago quite well. During the day, I started having contractions but carried on with my usual activities. I visited our very favorite local bakery and the owner (a Vietnamese lady) was shocked to see me out and about while in early labor. But she had a not-so-great surprise for me at the time. She announced they had sold the bakery and then introduced me to the new owner. I was quite sad about that but didn’t have time to dwell on it just then. I don’t recall too much else about the other activities during the day.
The real fun started around 11pm when my contractions became strong and were close enough together to make our way to the hospital. The Scientist and I set off with Game Fanatic in tow and arrived about half an hour later. It’s amazing how time seems to slow down when you are strapped into your seat but in regular waves of pain. I was quickly sent off to the maternity section where an incompetent junior doctor was in a hurry to be done after a very busy day in the ward that day. Meanwhile I was howling with pain in a way that never occurred during labor with Game Fanatic. It’s strange how different the two labors were. The Scientist’s mum was phoned to take Game Fanatic away as he was quite distressed by my pain. So it was then many hours of battle with the junior doctor who was trying to break my waters while my legs were clamped together because I was in continuous contractions. Various problems created a need for surgery so that Lego Lover was born at 6:30am by c-section. The next few hours were a blur and I don’t even recall when I next saw him because he was taken away while I was being stitched up.
The next few days were a monotonous period where Lego Lover slept a lot and I didn’t. Christmas was almost a complete non-event for me since I only had the company of a sleeping baby for all but a short part of the day. The big positive was Lego Lover was a champion nurser from the start and I was happy to miss out on all the pain I had experienced the first time around.
And here I am now, sleepy but still alert. Lego Lover is struggling to sleep so I am waiting up with him until he succumbs to the drowsiness. It’s been almost too much for the poor boy, with the excitement over his birthday and Christmas. He’s done pretty well this year and only really lost the plot once when he got too frustrated with a game on the Wii a few days ago. It should be a blissful day.
Now to get him to sleep so I can sleep so I can wake up early enough to make that scrumptious Devil’s Food cake he wants tomorrow.
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Protected: Working towards diagnosis
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Sentimental, after all?
Lego Lover and I were out and about today and our discussion eventually moved onto the subject of his old-time favorite videos, Might Machines. We first saw these videos while we lived in Canada for a year when he was a toddler. He absolutely adored them and was over the moon when we found a copy of one of the videotapes at a secondhand shop to purchase and bring back to Australia. That was watched repeatedly. A couple years later, dvds were released of the series and a second set of videos were made. As the dvds were released, we would faithfully order them from Canada and wait two months or more for them to arrive and eventually collected nine dvds. Lego Lover watched them all the time and never tired of them. We thought he’d be watching them as a teenager.
So about a year or so after we received the last one, Lego Lover decided they were history and didn’t want them any more, along with several other toys he owned. Most of the old things have moved on to new owners but we still have the dvds. We didn’t want to just give away something of such monetary and sentimental value. At one point I did attempt to sell them and even to loan them out. But for some reason, they have never left the house.
But back to our conversation today…Lego Lover remembered his favorite episodes and was reminding me of them too (because I just might have forgotten one or two details, after all!). Then he went on to tell me that there were some episodes that he didn’t like, mostly from the second set of videos, and now claims that’s why he stopped watching in the first place….hmmm…
So the result of that conversation is that tonight, Lego Lover started watching his dvds again and has returned to non-stop discussion of them. Game Fanatic is not very amused by this turn of events, even though it means we get some relief from long-winded Lego and Bionicle discussion. I don’t really think his interest will last for long. But what I find interesting is that perhaps he does has a slight sentimental streak after all.
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Meh!
I’ve been wanting to post but then I haven’t been able to be bothered. I seem to be endlessly having too many thoughts and not enough focus lately. It’s a feast or famine when it comes to writing here. Was going to try to do a whole month of writing every day but that’s obviously not going to happen. :)
We are having flashbacks to winter with wet and windy days lately. I think we’re getting a break and it’s going to warm up over the weekend. I was sitting on the sofa in a short sleeve t-shirt while playing a game on the Wii and I was literally shivering. I’ve taken to wearing slippers and and my warm robe again. It kind of reminds me of when Game Fanatic was a few weeks old and his crying seemed to go on and on no matter what we did. Came to find that he was cold. Usually November is pretty warm but there are some days that are chilly, of course. Felt so stupid at the time for not realising he was cold but probably shouldn’t have since I was so new to taking care of babies and all.
The homeschool moderator is coming out in two weeks and I still don’t know what I will show her. Nothing ever seems to go to plan, even the more viable ideas. I will come up with something and it will just have to do. Will have to go out and buy the workbooks for Lego Lover for next year. Won’t buy too much because we didn’t end up using very many of them this year. As he gets older, I am sure we will move away from the book work completely.
The Scientist and I went to see Augie March on Monday night. I enjoyed it very much but I found the crowd way too silent. It was so quiet you could hear the rain on the roof of the theater in-between songs. The crowd became a bit more livelier around the time of the encore but it was still pretty quiet. Musically I thought it was great aside from one song that really sounded too much like the recording. While I really enjoyed myself, I must admit it wasn’t that awe and wonder I’ve felt at other shows. It’s been suggested it was the Monday night show problem. Just not a good day for concerts in Perth. As it was we were feeling rushed to leave by the end to pick up the boys from my friend’s house.
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When things started happening
I should be going to sleep but I’m feeling rather contemplative at the moment. Around this time fourteen years ago to the day (or should I say night), I started active and full on labor with my first-born child, Game Fanatic. I had been induced over twelve hours earlier and nothing much had happened. The Scientist had been with me all day but had gone home due to lack of activity. No sooner had he gotten to sleep when the hospital called him to return. There would be no rest for the next ten hours…Of course that was the beginning of little rest for many years.
Game Fanatic tried very hard to go to sleep early so that he could wake up early for his birthday. Unfortunately he’s become such a night owl that he’s still tossing and turning. Hopefully sleep will provide the rest he needs to take full advantage of the day. He’s planning on being quite busy.
I spent much of the evening making vegetable chickpea patties for tomorrow. I made them especially for Game Fanatic on his last birthday to fulfill his craving for chickpeas. They were a hit with several family members and have become often requested. I wasn’t going to make them this time, though, because they require so much time and are incredibly messy. Apparently it’s as expected that I make them as it is that my MIL will make special pancake rolls (crepes wrapped around savoury filling, dipped in egg and breadcrumbs, then fried) for him. I started the preparations about seven hours ago and have just taken the second batch from the oven to cool, which means I can go to bed soon.
Since Game Fanatic isn’t all that keen on birthday cake, he requested that I make brownies instead. The recipe I used was a chocolate malt brownie, made with a store version of Malteasers and chocolate chips. As my niece is allergic to dairy, I also made butterscotch blondies as an alternative. Either way, dessert will be quite unhealthy although I think the blondies will be less so.
I must say I am feeling incredulous to have a fourteen year old now and as we creep year to year, I can feel his adulthood becoming closer and closer. It’s very strange to think of my children as adults but it’s only a few years away now! Wow!